I'm not dead yet, but nice try

Volvo Chronicals: part...I've lost count

Okay so I just got back from school about a half hour ago and I was late this morning. Not because my alarm clock didnt work, but because it was raining.

Remember those little drops of rain that just come down from all directions? Well thats what it was doing here in Portland this morning. Now we havent had any heavy rain in a while so the streets have been pretty dry, meaning that oil has stayed on the roads for a while now. Well knowing this i was driving especially carefully. Anyhow, I was taking Grand Ave. to the Marqume bridge like I usually do, so that i can get onto I5, and there is this corner. Well the guy in frount of me is like going 10 mph, and usually you can go around it at about 25. Well i get pissed off at him and go into the left lane to pass as we take the corner. Im mabey going 17mph, and this is not a tight corner by any streach of the imagination. I make it out fine but then my car continues to turn, although i have straitened the wheel. I start spinning. I end up in the far left lane (I was in the middle one out of five) and completely facing the wrong direction (cause its a one way). Luckly there were no cars to my left and i slid without hitting anyone. But then a minvan was coming up fast in the lane I was in. What can I do except sit there. The other lanes of trafic are still going and a few are trying to dodge me. The minvan swerves and nearly starts sliding into traffic, luckly, the blue truck that she was cutting off saw her and slamed on his breaks [sorry about the gender roles, minivans are femineine and trucks are masculine]. I am able to turn around and get going eventually after the light turns red. The weird thing is, that I would have expected me to freak out when something like this happens. But I was increadbly calm, my heart wasn't beating any faster, and the fitst time i started to freak out about it is when i was on the freeway wondering if it could happen again.

Then on my way back home this afternoon, I was takin I5, and there were tons of semis. At one point there was one behind me to my left and my right and a semi-cab towing another semi-cab in frount of me. I kind of felt trapped.

P.S. Im going on the Freshman Escape this weekend so you will all have to suffer a few days before I can post again, because I know you love them.

Next thing you know, Ben's gonna be kicking me off...

Let me first say that knowone knows what the capitol of australia is. Ben, i'm sorry but i finally gave into the beast within me. I joined facebook. I'm sorry that i have disapointed you. a few random facts that I have found:

- Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
- The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
- A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. (try it sometime.)
- On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily
- There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver.
- The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan". There was never a recorded Wendy before
- The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War 2 killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo
- If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death
- By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot Sink into quicksand
- Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin Look-alike contest
- Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying
- Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson"
- The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries
- The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone
- The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910
- The youngest pope was 11 years old - 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
- If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes
- In ancient England a person ! could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.*.K. (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.
- 60 % of statistics are made up...
- There are more plastic lawn flamingos in the US than real ones
- 2,500 left handers die each year using products designed for right handers (watch out pat!)
- The Roman Catholic Church did not acknowledge that the earth revolves around the sun until the mid 1990’s
- The only word in the English language to contain three back to back double letter combinations is; Bookkeeper
- Pi has been calculated to over 2,260,321,363 digits
- A can of SPAM™ is opened every 4 seconds (im doing it right now)
- A novel with 50,000 words, non of which contained the letter ‘E’ was written by Ernest Wright!
- You consume one tenth (.1) calories when you lick a stamp
- A donkey will sink in quick sand, while a mule will not
- If a word has two consecutive vowels, and both are pronounced, a diaeresis [dy-AIR-ih-sis] is used. Diaeresis are two dots over a vowel. Example: ä or ö. For instance; the word noel. Noel is actualy spelled Noël. This is used in English, though it is not commonly written.
- In 1977, George Willig was fined $1.10 for climbing the World Trade Center building
- There are only 18 countries richer than Bill Gates
- Despite a population of over a billion, China has only about 200 family names (reminds me of Kentucky)
- The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies
- A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years thats enough for today

One Year Anniversary!

The Following are my thoughts, my dreams, and my ambitions. One Year ago from today I was removed from this blog. And one year from today I created what is now known as "The Omega Zero." However--if anyone forgets-- it was originally called, "The Insiders Looking Out." Just to spite Ben, and his evil dictatorship (HA! how far I’ve come). By this time I had already began on my novel, then just a story, and had developed a very rudimentary plotline, little did I know how this new spiteful blog was going to change my life in the following year. In honor of my original blog I have recreated it for sentimental purposes it is at http://likeapuma2.blogspot.com.

[if you want to skip to the sentimental part, now is the time to do so. it is the last paragraph]

Following four months of no success I became the evil that I had once fought and kicked off my three other members. Created a new profile (all of which was relating to my science fiction story) and began the Chronicles of the Oglamari. I renamed my blog "The Omega Directive" (and still refer to it as such, however because I basically took that name directly from a Star Trek Episode) I was forced to rename months later "The Omega Zero." I then created "The Omega Four" jumping ahead of myself and my story, and explaining the multiple species of the galaxy. To complete the story I have now just added Omegas 1-3 and 5 & 6.

I began my story on May 2nd 2004. It was an accident, during the time I was supposed to be doing my junior paper, I developed two timelines (which has now become over 8), and wrote 12 pages the first night in about three hours, something I considered very good, because I had never conceived of the story until then. It has been much harder sense, however. I never seem to find enough time to give my chapters justice, so I ended up using the blog. Instead of directly relating to my story (Omega's 1&2) I wrote the history of the aliens that eventually invade the planet, and it grew from there, entire new plotlines and new characters, all influenced by the stuff on the blog. I loved typing with no limitations, without meaning or reason. I would regularly sit in the library at Jesuit just thinking and developing plots and events, just poring my soul into my work. This was met with pain though, and criticism from people, people that didn't understand, Ben became my newest best friend, and he would continue to read my work (thanks Ben!). I have hidden all of my "written" story because of fear, fear of rejection. I was invited back onto the blog, and was able to restart my posting campaign. Then I got kicked back off. I have set 2010 as the latest possible publication date of my novel, Part one (omega's 1-4).

[beginning of the sentimental part]

Oh how life has changed for me in a year! I've gone from a senior back to a fresh person, lost friendships, gained new ones. Was in a play, wrote one, then directed one. Lead an Encounter, and a frosh day retreat (going on one this weekend). Created so many f-ing blogs that i cant remember all the URLs! Been hated, loved, liked, and jeered. Seen our government fail, seen the devastation of Tsunamis and Hurricanes. Worked for with my cousin's and learned everything there is to know about Autism. I've Laughed and I've cried. Got internet for the first time in five years (you are probably hating me for that last one right now). And I've strengthened friendships that I hope will withstand the test of time.

P.S. If you haven't noticed by now this is my way of saying I miss you guys.

I gotta have more cowbell!

So last Friday was our soccer game against Wisconsin, and boy should they have prayed. At the begining of the week signs start going up about free cowbells are going to be given out at the game. Well that sounded sweet, then the entire campus was doing their best Will Ferrill Imitation of the Cowbell skit. Just imagine Each class, all day, with people quoting, "I gotta have more cowbell." So then it is revealed that not only is firday cowbell night, but its also dairy night. And nobody really knows what that means, so we show up friday night reel early so we can get our cowbells, and they have real cows there by the main entrance to the field. Then they have barrells of free milk for anyone and everyone that wants some. Then they start handing out the cowbells, and the entire friggin stadium is echoing with cowbells! They handed out two thousand cowbells! And so there we were in the student section recieving the most horrible headache known to man. Not only did we clang the cowbells when we scored, but there was always the clanking of those bells 24-7. We scored one goal in the first half and lead it 1-0. Then we picked up speed and scored 2, 3, 4, and 5. Twentey three seconds left in the game and we have had 24 shots on goal and they have had 6. Its 5-0 with 23 seconds left when they score the first point against us all season. Didn't matter though we still crushed them. Somehow I ended up with two cowbells and so i put them in the back of my car, and now they tell me if I take a corner too hard.

Jesuit lost their game against Southridge on Friday. This is the first time sense Southridge has been a school that we have lost to them. It was really pathetic. The skyhalks returned the 95 yard kickoff to score the first touchdown. And then continued to destroy us leading the entire game. The final score was 28-20. We were already ranked like 7th and now its gonna go a little lower. (I keep saying we, like its still our school, i guess its just easier to narrarate)

I was at work yesterday and I took Joel outside to play on the trampoline when a giant plane flew directly over the house. It looked like a one of those commercial planes, it had the four turbines under the wings and it was increadbly low, ive never seen one that low away from the airport, it was shaking the house. I thought it was really wierd, and thought nothing of it. Then about a munite later the same plane (at the same height) came back over the house and this time it was banking hard. It did a full 180 still really low and traveled back the way it originally was heading. The only airport, that could land a plane that big, was in Hillsborro, and the plane was headed the wrong way. This was really wierd.
Then only thirty seconds later it did the same thing, but slightly to the west, but still over the house and still extremely low. It did this about six times. Now I don't know if you have heard but in the last few months there have been two instances where the pilots are killed from accdental depressurization and so the plane just circles around until it looses fuel then finally crashes. Well I started to get a little worried after the fourth pass, and so I went in and had my aunt call the local fire department. We figured that it was probably waiting to land, and so it was killing time, but to be that low, was surely against some protcols (noise levels and dangerous flying zones, because we allways get the little biplanes going over the house). The fire department called Hillsburro airport, and they confirmed that it was a "C5" plane that was waiting for landing clearance at either the Newburg or Hillsburo airport. As far as i knew Newburg couldnt land planes that big, but whatever. It was still really weird.

"CHEERS!"

"CHEERS!"

The Horse and Mule live thirty years
And nothing know of wine or beers,
The Goat and Sheep they also die
And never taste of Scotch and Rye,
The Cow drinks water by the ton
And at eighteen years is mostly done,
Without the aid of Rum or Gin
The Dog at fifteen cashes in,
The Cat in milk and water soaks
And then in twelve short years it croaks,
The modest sober bone-dry Hen
Lays eggs for nogs then dies at ten,
All animals are strictly dry
They sinless live and swiftly die,
But Sinful Ginful, Rum-soaked men
Survive by three score years and ten,
And some of us a mighty few
Keep on drinking ‘til we’re ninety-two.

From a sign in a London Pub


(note: I copied this from a sign that our family has hanging in the kitchen of our beach cabin)

Kangaroos, Australia, and nothing about the outback

Let me start by saying that Kangaroos don't play Yatzee.

Now that thats taken care of I can fill you all in on my story. My name is Xan and I am an alcoholic. No. I live in Portland, Oregon with my parents where I commute to the University of Portland. I saw a dead squirrel in the parking lot the other day and Kristina flipped out. I have been without internet for roughly, oh id say about...four years, and just got it back (I think i had left it on the roof of my car...have you ever done that, then the soda just spills all over the car making it sticky--and then you cant slide accross the hood when you want to impress a girl and then fall and hurt your little toe, acctually not your little little toe, but the one next to it).

I auditioned for a play already, i would have auditioned for two, but one was only a cast of girls and my doctor said the sex change won't come into full effect for another two weeks, so legally I couldn't be cast. The play is called The Fan and it is of Italian origin, which is a language that emerged from the Latin of the Roman empire on the large peninsula that looks like a foot kicking its little sister in the mediteranian sea. I asked not to be cast, however, because one-- they had already precast the part i wanted (the hunting dog [molly you will someday die from rat poison in your dog food!]) and two-- I felt I would be unable to fully devote my time to both a play and school work, and three--I would never have been cast in the first spot.

I had a freshman service day on sunday, and we worked at the Oregon Food Bank, it was requiered and the entire freshman class was requiered to go, that would be the definition of required if anyone didn't catch it. Anyhow I dug. We spent the entire day trying to figure out what the capitol of Australia was. We still havn't figgured it out. And no nobody can look on the internet, thats called cheating.

I created two new blogs both of which are really nerdy, but thats me. one of which is an addition to Omega Zero, it is called (creativly enough) Omega Four. Thats right folks theres no omega one, or two, or three, it just jumps right to four. It is all about the different alien species of my advanced story, some of which are named after people on this very blog. Ben for instance was the inspiration for The Vincrati-they are operation controllers, not physically strong but extremely intelligent and coordinate movement and communication between fleets in the APF (Allied Provinces of Freedom). The other blog is completely seperate, and perhaps illegal, and is all about a captain of a space ship in the mirror universe, based of of star trek.

My Theatre class took a tour of the theatre facilities. The Good: they have a full length light and sound booth. The Not So Good: we have what is called a "Procenium thrust' where the majority of the stage is in frount of the procenium. the theatre only seats 240 people and that is if they put in the removable chairs on the sides. There are three catwalks, or cat-crawls i should call them, you can barelly crawl on each one, with only one exit for all three which goes into the booth (I thought it was a fire hassard). the shop is really tall but not wide at all. lift is in the direct middle of the stage, so when we have an orchestra pit they cant be seen, because the're behind part of the stage and underneith it. The lift itself its quite unimpressive, it looks like one of those origomi boxes that fits inside another one. The lighting is only so advanced and the sound is not all the great, but it'll do (I love Babe, "That'll do pig. That'll do).

Kangaroos are nowhere to be seen here, I was really hoping that we'd see a flock or two of them go by but no such luck. I have seen a few bunnies, but havn't seen them sense. It is extremely rare to see--but it happens occasionally--that a die-hard fan will run stark naked accross the soccer field durring a game. Last time it happened i was the one being put into the back of the squad car, but luckly my friend caught the whole thing on tape, I would post the video, but the cops confiscated it along with my 327 bottles of beer in the back of my car. Stupid bacon. I'm in the process of reading the latest Harry Potter book, its good so far, i am interested how it sets up for the final one, although someone let it slip that harry survives. So there goes my best guess. I miss all of you, and so does Johnny. Send my appologies to Mr. Bush, and tell him i'll meet him in the lobby.