CORE BELIEFS OF PIX-FAIRIANISM

When each of us are born, a fairy is also born. They are born simultaneously with human so that they are able to counter-balance the human population affectively. Each Fairy is unique and like it’s human counterpart “special.” What I am trying to say is that each fairy has unique powers. Now these powers are not to be confused with magic. For Magic—as we all know—does not exist. No, Fairies are given something different, something much like the human spirit but rather then being contained on the inside, locked up and becoming the drive for the physical body to express a fairy’s spirit is much more complex. A fairy’s spirit is outwardly expressed, opposed to a human’s inwardly expressed soul. This is what gives the fairies their light luminescent glow. Now their powers range from inherently evil to inherently good. This range is determined by their human counterpart (although they would argue that the human soul is determined by the fairy’s spirit). For each positive force there is a negative force, this is a universal truth and there for it must also be true in life. If the human being is an evil person such as Adolph Hitler or Barbra Streisand their fairy counterpart is extremely good natured and caring. However if the human is Good-beyond-all-belief then the fairy is a ill-tempered fiery disaster.

During Prehistoric times, long before Jesus, Moses, or Abraham there was an evil human civilization near Mesopotamia, These people were so inherently evil that their good fairy counterparts were unable to live alongside them. They decided to destroy them all. This (in Fairy lore) was called “The Great Enlightenment.” It was considered an enlightenment because in the attempt to purge the earth of evil, they themselves became evil (for killing is evil). In turn, by Natural Law the evil humans were now forced to change for the better and become good, for their fairy counterparts had become evil. But by then it was too late and the evil fairies had drowned the good humans in an attempt to cleanse the earth. The death of the humans, however, led to their deaths as well, for there was no longer an opposite force to keep them balanced and they all perished. Luckily some guy in a boat had saved a few bugs and turtles and was able to repopulate earth through inbreeding. And thus the fairies lived.

In the year 74002476434209809434 S.F.D. (Standard Fairy Dating) or 1964 A.D. A Fairy by the name of Pix Pic-Pickity had a revolutionary idea. The Fairy population would cut themselves off from human society. This was not widely accepted throught the fairy world. Many feared they would cause the deaths of countless humans not to mention fairies. Others were afraid that this move would destroy the fairy economy and inflate the currency. However the fairy governments rallied around Pix Pic-Pickity and they devised a plan. They would kidnap the President of St. Kitts & Nivis ( a small Caribbean nation) and hold him hostage until the humans around the world would release all Fairy hostages and destroy all information pertaining to fairies. This plan failed miserably. So the had to do it themselves.

Using their small size, they infiltrated government buildings and libraries, where they systematically began destroying all fairy information. Pix Pic-Pickity founded an elite fairy force that became known as “The Pixies” (creating the derogatory name for fairies) They were the ones that led the French Pixy Revolution of 1971 and freed over seven thousand fairy prisoners. The Fairies then relocated to Greenland where they stay in hiding to this day. Because they still exist they are able to keep the fragile balance between Human and Fairy intact, but most refuse interaction. This has resulted in the evil fairies leaving Greenland and tormenting unwilling humans, such as myself. Over the decades the fairies have been slowly forgotten and they leave a peaceful existence. This is why they have recently began attacking humans in the last few weeks, because the Government of St. Kitts & Nivis have finally retaliated against the fairies sending nuclear missiles into Greenland. The UN has refused to take action because, and I quote, “The Fairy Government of Greenland has refused to offer aid in the past…and after all they are not human.” In retaliation the Pixy Army has invaded St. Kitts & Nivis and killed nearly 75% of its population. We are facing a time of crisis, and we must act, if not for ourselves then for the turtles!